LM dithered with all of his might.
I guess I should go after Ambrose and Robin, but…to do what? What am I going to do when I go back to their place?
Stand around and wonder what I should do?
I need something to do. I need…to have some point to my life.
Right now, I have none.
What should I do?
“Capernaum. Talk to me. Tell me what I should do. Give me a job. Give me a command. Give me some purpose.”
Give me a reason to be glad I’m alive.
Just one reason.
“Are you going to leave too?” Jeff asked.
LM’s wings rustled. “I don’t know.”
Jeff looked down at Missy. “Could you stay with me?”
LM’s wings went still. “I thought you didn’t want me to be anywhere near your daughter.’
Jeff sighed. “I don’t know if I’m overreacting. I don’t know if I’m right or wrong. I don’t know if I’m just—-” He leaned his head back. “—mentally overwhelmed by it all. I just don’t want to be alone.”
LM hesitated as he remembered how Jeff went nuts punching him. But then he looked at the man standing before him.
And he saw it.
Just like with Robin, he saw it.
Only this time, there were two names rushing through his mind: Laura and Teresa, in that exact order. Always Laura first and Teresa second. His mind cried out those two names over and over in a loud hurting voice.
LM tilted his head.
He isn’t aware of it.
How could he not be aware of it? Is it just background noise to him?
“Does it ever stop?” LM asked. “Is your mind ever at peace?”
Jeff didn’t respond.
Yet, his mind kept crying out her name. Over and over.
Laura! Laura! Laura!
“I could.” LM looked away from the prematurely white haired man. “If you want. If you ask me to. I could do it. If that is what you want?”
“What are you talking about?”
He’s going to punch me again. I’m sure of it.
LM turned his attention back to Jeff. “I could turn into Laura if you want.”
He’s going to punch me.
Jeff fixed his gaze on the half-fey. His expression didn’t betray his mind’s anguished cries.
LM’s wings rustled. “If you don’t want me to, I understand.”
“It’s tempting. It’s been so long since I’ve seen her. It’s been years.” Sadness overcame his deliberately blank expression. “But it wouldn’t be real. You would look like her, but you wouldn’t be her. So, thank you, but don’t. Please don’t.”
“Not even for a minute?”
Jeff scoffed. “Do you really think a minute would be long enough?”
LM thought about Capernaum. “No. It would be all too short.”
Raven and Maelin entered the room without knocking.
Maelin stopped short. “Where’s Robin?”