Part 2507 – A Whole Lot Of Longing.

‘sellta…You hear me? Robin watched the staircase, but no one came up or down them. The door at the top stayed shut. I don’t know. I’ve been callin’ your name for…what? Hours? Has it been hours? Or has it been a whole lot shorter’n that? I don’t know. I could prob’lly figure it out usin’ my amazin’ vampire time skills. But ain’t no sense in it. Ha! Listen to me, talkin’ about sense.

His heart ached for some sort of response. If only you were here and right now…If only you were standin’ here right in front of me…’sellta. Robin closed his eyes. An image materialized in his mind — Isellta standing before him with his head turned in that curious puppy tilt. His large black wings unfurled and flapping. A smile — soft and shy. 

Longing burned inside Robin’s chest. If Robin’s mouth had been uncovered, he would have surely screamed. ‘sellta… Robin opened his eyes and the mental image disappeared. I am such a FREAKIN’ IDIOT! How could I’ve been so dumb? So freakin’ stupid? I had you. I lived in the same freakin’ house as you and I scared you off! STUPID!

His stomach growled with hunger. ‘sellta. I ain’t never gonna do that to you again. I promise. No. I swear. I’ll be good to you. You wanna follow me all over town when I’m off huntin’? His longing competed with his hunger. He grunted. That’ll be fine with me. If you can bear seein’ that side of me…Oh, ‘sellta. There’s so much…so much freakin’ much I wanna share with you. I wanna know you. I wanna see you smile. I wanna make you laugh. I wanna take you to Mom, so she can fin’lly meet you. She’ll love you. Ain’t sure how she could not love someone like you.

***

Isellta closed his eyes. Robin, I miss you. Strange, frustrating, nonsensical, wonderful you. Robin…He kept stroking Preyuna’s back. She stayed asleep. I…I wish. I think it’s wrong for me to wish for something like this, but I can’t help it. Robin, my beautiful Robin, I wish you were in my arms instead of her. Ohh. Oh, to just lie here like this with you in my arms…with you sleeping… 

His face burned with shame. But it isn’t right for me to think this…to want this. It isn’t right or fair to Her Majesty. She deserves so much better than me fantasizing over someone else while I’m holding her.

She deserves better than me.

Mark Caten has hurt her in ways I don’t even know. She deserves kindness. She deserves to be loved completely. Not something that’s half-hearted or forced.

“But I can’t help it.” he whispered. “I want you, Robin. No matter what, I will always want to be with you. It isn’t something I can change or something I can just stop. I want you, Robin. I want to be with you. I want to know you better. I want to understand you. I want to make you happy, my Robin. My beautiful Robin.”

***

Tears trailed down to the hard metal piece covering Robin’s mouth. ‘sellta? You hearin’ me okay? ‘sellta? You okay? ‘sellta, please talk to me! Please! I’ll endure the loneliness and bein’ all cooped up like this, if I could just hear your voice again. Please talk to me. Let me know you’re all right. Let me know I ain’t just talkin’ to nothin’. ‘sellta…I’m here. Just here. Right here. Speak to me. Please.

4 thoughts on “Part 2507 – A Whole Lot Of Longing.”

    1. *hugs!*

      Their separation was one of those unplanned but inevitable things that needed to happen. But I sometimes wonder what would have happened if Isellta had stayed with Robin. I want to say that they would have figured things out. But it would have been a completely different path to that understanding. (And Jay would never have come into existence. That would have been a shame, because I really love Isellta and Jay’s friendship.)

      Liked by 1 person

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