Part 2142 – This Is Not An Argument. It’s An Emotionally Charged Discussion.

Jay’s bedroom door was shut.

Jay wanted to burst into the room, but that was a little hard to do with a full-grown fey in his arms. He shifted Isellta’s position, fumbled with the doorknob, and opened the door. It was a whole lot less dramatic than his intent.

He entered the room.

Maelin was lying on the bed.

“Mae?”

She didn’t raise her head or speak.

His heart found a way to sink to points lower than his stomach. “Mae, I.” Jay carried Isellta over to the bed and carefully laid him down. “I’m sorry.”

“Do you really want me to leave for good?” Her voice was devoid of emotion.

What is she thinking? What is she feeling? Nothing? Could she really feel nothing about this?

About us?

“No. I mean…” He sat next to Isellta. “No. Just no. But if.” He petted Isellta’s soft hair. “If. If it would make you happier.”

“Jay.”

“That’s all I care about, you know. I love you, Mae. It will hurt me so bad if you leave me and never come back. But if it would make life easier for you…”

She crawled over to him.

“Mae. I’ll miss you so much.”

“And you think I wouldn’t miss you?”

His hand went still.

“Do you really think I love you less than you love me?”

He shrugged.

“Oh, sweetheart. I love you so much. You are everything a woman could want a man to be. If I could just stay with you all of the time, I would. Believe me. Trust me. I would.”

“But you can’t.”

“I can’t. I hate leaving you behind. It’s never an easy choice to make.”

He huffed out a breath. “But you always make it.”

“Because I can’t help it.”

Jay bowed his head. “What would happen if I said those words to bind you to me? Would that wanderlust still be there? Or would it go away?”

“I don’t know. Best case scenario, it would go away and I’d never feel that need to leave you again. Worst case? It wouldn’t go away and I’d have to live with it. Every single day, I’d feel that restlessness and I wouldn’t be able to do a thing about it.”

“So.” He swallowed hard. “I can’t marry you and I can’t bind you to me. I just have to live with that knowledge that I. I’m not enough for you to stay.”

She fell silent.

“I will never be enough.”

“That isn’t true and you know it. Sweetheart, you are more than enough. I want to stay with you. I do.”

“But you don’t. You always leave me.”

“Because I must.”

Silence fell between them.

Silence that took her several minutes to chisel through.

“I am not leaving now, Jay. I will stay for as long as I can. I always do. I only leave when the restlessness becomes too much for me to bear.”

“I know.” He pushed Isellta’s bangs off to the side only to have them fall back into place. “I’m being unreasonable, aren’t I?”

“Not at all.”

His mouth twitched into an unsteady smile. “I am and you know it.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist.

He closed his eyes and leaned back against her. “Take it away, Mae. I know you can’t pull these fears and hurt out of me. But squash them down for now. Let me have peace.”

She kissed the back of his neck. “As you wish.”