Part 1991 – Holding On/Letting Go

“Am’rose?”

“Hm?”

Robin fidgeted. “We’re well on our way to the church, right?”

“Yeah?”

“When we get there, you’ll marry Barbara and you’ll go off with her and…”

Ambrose shifted in his seat to face him. “What do you want, Robin?”

“Nothin’!”

“Uh-huh. Riiight.”

Robin shoved him. “Stupid Ambrose.”

“Just say what you want. A vampire’s life is both too short and too long to play these kind of avoidance games.”

“Fine. I want you to hold on to me until we get there. I got this bad feelin’ that somethin’s gonna go down when I get to Isellta and I won’t never see you again. But I ain’t gonna stay away from him. I’m sick and tired of spendin’ each day each minute won’drin’ if he’s safe, if he’s happy, if someone’s doin’ sick and mean things to him. I just wanna be with him.”

“Then, go.”

“Yeah. I’m just gonna go jumpin’ out of a movin’ vehicle. What the heck, Ambrose? You think I’m dumb?”

“No. Just hopelessly in love.”

“That I am.”

Ambrose held out his arms. “Come.”

Robin scooted over to him.

The two men hugged each other. “Just hold onto me.” Ambrose said softly.

“I love him, Am’rose. I’ve loved him from that first moment. If you had seen him in those stupid red high heels…He looked so klutzy, like he was gonna sprain his ankles any second. Then, he stopped and looked in that store window.” Robin smiled a faltering smile. “There weren’t nothin’ but a whole mess of junk in there, but he got all excited about it, like a darn girl starin’ at diamonds. He was just so freakin’ cute.”

Robin tightened his hug. “He was so good to me. So kind. So carin’. He stayed with me. He took care of me. And what did stupid me do? Yelled at him and slapped him. That’s what stupid me did. Am’rose, how many times do I gotta tell him sorry before he forgives me?”

“Just once. If Isellta loves you as much as I know he does, once will be enough.”

Robin closed his eyes. “Just hold onto me, Ambrose.” He inhaled the older vampire’s oak, mocha, and musk scent.

Such a warm, comfortin’ scent.

I’m gonna miss him.

****

Deliosa folded her hands in her lap. “You know, it feels strange to travel this way.”

Sammy turned the corner and cast a glance at her.

“I’m so used to traveling on my own, with my own wings. To sit here and do nothing, yet still be on the move…” She shook her head. “I don’t think I’m explaining this well.”

“Don’t worry. I understand. You’re used to being independent.”

“No, it’s more than that. I’m used to being self-sufficient. If I need to go somewhere, I just open my wings and fly. No need to buckle up. No need to stop for gas. It’s just me in the air and that’s all I need.”

He stared straight ahead and lost himself in his thoughts.

“I’m not used to someone else taking over for me. I’m not used to…someone else being my wings. I guess that’s the best way to put it.”

He didn’t respond to that. Yet, nothing broke or transformed.

She sighed. “If your mother rejects me on Monday, I’ll be on my own again. Flying through my own power, with just my wings. I’ll fly alone.”

He didn’t respond to that either.

She finally took notice of his silence. “Samer, please believe me when I say that isn’t what I want.”

“What do you want?” His voice was a steady calm, almost monotone.

“I want you. I want to fly side by side with you. I want to be all yours. I want to be your mate, your only mate.”

He shot a surprised look at her.

“Even if that means surrendering control and letting you drive me around like this. Samer, I want us.”

He stopped in the middle of the empty stretch of road. “You know I have no control over the situation. What my elder says is law. I cannot disobey her.”

“I know. Samer, what does the future hold for us if we cannot be together? Where do we go? Where will you go?”

He looked forward, at the beams of his headlights piercing the darkness. “I don’t know. I will continue on as I have. I will live on as I have. Go to work as I have. But I will always miss you. I will always long for what could have been.”

She pressed her knuckles against his cheekbone. “I will always long for you too.”

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