Barbara sat in her car and waited for Clarice and John to leave. While she waited, she thought about the big realization she’d made.
I have power over Ambrose. The power to please him. The power to arouse him. I have that power and I can use it.
In Barbara’s mind, she saw him flex his fingers and claws from her touch.
I want to use it.
She saw the desire in his eyes as she unzipped his hoodie.
I want to see that desire in his eyes again.
She saw how aroused he became from her stroking his palm.
I can’t believe it, but I want to turn him on like that again and again. I never thought I would, but I do.
She pressed her knuckles to her heated face.
I’m still nervous about tonight. But I will not turn him down. I want him, especially after these long, difficult days of not touching him.
I want him to see that I love him.
I want him to see and believe that I will not disrespect him the way Rebecca did. He’s mine. Ambrose is mine. No matter what happens tonight, I am not going to send him packing.
He’s mine until death separates us.
Clarice and John pulled out of the driveway and off they went.
Barbara gave Raven’s house a long look.
I could go back in. I’m sure I left something in his room. If not, I could make up a missing handkerchief or glove.
But I would be alone with him.
Just him and me and my wild thoughts.
“Yeah, that’s a recipe for nothing good.” She started the car and backed out of the driveway.
Ambrose smiled in his sleep and hugged Robin tighter.
John thought and thought about everything he’d told Barbara.
Was it enough? Was there something more I should have said? Carolyn, I wish you could have been there. You could have answered her questions so much better than I did. You could have backed me up. You could have helped me. I felt so far out of my element. If she were a young man instead of a young woman, I could have answered all of his questions without breaking a sweat. I know I made you happy. I know you loved making love to me. But I have no idea what you felt.
Clarice glanced at him. Her expression turned sympathetic. “Are you okay?”
He shrugged. “Just…overthinking what I told Barbara. I don’t know, Clarice, if I gave her enough information. I don’t know if I gave her the answers she needed. I don’t know if I made it sound more terrifying than ever. I don’t know if I did any good.”
She stopped at a red light and patted his knee. “I’m sure you did the best you could.”
“I don’t know if I did.” He smiled. “But thank you for your confidence boost.”
“Anytime you need it, you churro filled cornucopia basket of home baked goodness.”
He laughed. “Churros, huh?”
“Only the best kind and the highest quality.”
He put his hand on top of her hand. “I happen to know a place that makes excellent churros.”
“Tell me which way to go and I’ll take you there.”
Carolyn, this woman…I love her. Is it okay? Do you mind if I love her?
He smiled. “You could probably take me anywhere and I wouldn’t put up a fight.”
“mmm. I’d love to test that theory out. Maybe I will. Someday, but not today. Today, we’re getting churros.”
The light turned green and she drove on through.