Part 1867 – “All I Have To Do Is…”

Something was wrong.

Something was terribly wrong.

Isellta could feel the wrongness deep inside his chest.

Something felt too heavy.

Something wasn’t working right.

He subconsciously wanted to make sense of it. But he couldn’t think.

He wanted to open his eyes and search the darkness for Robin. But it felt better to keep them closed.

He wanted to say Robin’s name. But something was wrong. He couldn’t speak.

Somewhere, far inside the darkness, a man cried. His cries pierced Isellta’s heart.

And the heaviness inside of him increased, making it even harder for Isellta to breathe.


Jay lowered his hands.

What if?

He stared at his palms, at his fingers.

What if?

What if I just?

What if I just put an end to all of this suffering?

He turned and looked at the unconscious fey.


If I.

If I kill him.

What if I kill him?

Will that soul eater still be able to devour him? Or will Isellta’s soul escape? Will he be free?

Jay moved closer to Isellta and ran his fingers through the fey’s soft blond hair. “I love you, kid.”

He put his hands around Isellta’s throat.

All I have to do is squeeze and hold on.

Hold on until he stops breathing. He’s barely breathing as is. It probably wouldn’t take too long. He probably wouldn’t even struggle.

Maybe he wouldn’t even be aware of it.

Jay took a deep breath.

All I have to do is squeeze.

Squeeze as hard as I can.

My hands are strong.

He is so weak.

Jay closed his eyes.

All I have to do is squeeze.

Jay found Isellta all curled up on the floor, sobbing like a frightened child. “Hey!” He touched his shoulder.

Isellta shuddered and sobbed even harder.

“Hey.” Jay knelt next to him. “Hey, it’s all right. It’s just me.”

Isellta peeked up at him.  The fear in his eyes hit the guard hard.

“What happened?”

He sat up and hugged Jay with all of his might. He cried helplessly.

Jay hugged him. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Isellta dug his fingers into the back of the guard’s shirt.

“It’s okay, kid.”

I won’t let anyone hurt you again.

I can’t.

Jay opened his eyes.

“I can’t do it.”

He released Isellta’s neck. “I don’t want you to wake up and find me choking you. I don’t want you to die, feeling betrayed. You trust me. I can’t betray you like that. I can’t. I won’t.”

Jay bowed his head. “So, where does that leave me? Where does that leave us?”


Waiting for Robin to come.


Isellta inhaled slowly as those arms pulled him in for another hug.

They’re so comforting.

So strong.

So warm.

So frustratingly familiar.

I want to hug him.

If I hug him, he’ll protect me. I know he…I know…

Isellta winced as his headache spiked upwards.

He stopped thinking.

His very last thought was a simple question, only seven letters and two spaces long: Who is he?

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