Preyuna felt a twinge of guilt as Isellta shivered again.
She quickly squashed it down.
I’m doing this for him.
I’m doing it to protect him.
It might disappoint him.
It might make him upset.
But that doesn’t matter.
I know what is in his best interest.
Letting Isellta run off to certain death is not in his best interest.
She helped him get dressed.
He shuddered as she pulled up his slacks, but he didn’t move away from her.
But his wings kept flittering.
And he kept shivering.
I am doing the right thing.
She fastened his waistband and helped him put on his vest.
I am protecting him from his own stupid and worthless emotions.
“Why do I feel so cold?” he asked.
She ran her hand down the middle of his back. “Like you said, you really shouldn’t have slept outside.”
Her hand stopped at the set of vest buttons below his wings.
Why doesn’t he want me?
She buttoned the four buttons and led him over to her bed.
His wings flared out. He struggled to break out of her grip. “No! I don’t want to. I don’t want to!”
She pushed him down on the bed and crawled up next to him.
He cried out in panic.
“Isellta!”
He burst into tears. “I…I…do…don’t want. Don’t want.” He covered his face with his hands.
Why is he like this?
She grabbed his hands and pinned them to the mattress.
His eyes widened in terror. “Please don’t.”
“Any male, fey or otherwise, would love to be put into this position by a woman as beautiful and as powerful as me. And look at you. Sniveling and whimpering. Why, Isellta? WHY?”
He shivered and whispered, “I don’t know.”
Preyuna looked down at him and considered all of the possibilities. She released him and got off the bed.
Isellta crawled to the top half of the bed and grabbed one of her pillows. He curled up with it tight in his embrace.
He shivered.
Preyuna untucked the blanket and covered him up.
He looked up at her with tears in his eyes.
He wouldn’t look at that ugly vampire in that way. He’d be all excited and giddy.
He’d beg Robin to hrrash ka kae with him.
I don’t understand.
“Why, Isellta? Why him? Why can’t you want me?”
He sniffed. “I don’t know. All I know is hearing his voice again made me feel so wonderfully nonsensical. I don’t feel that way with you.”
“How do I make you feel?”
“Sad.”
She frowned.
“Because I can’t be what you want or need. And I’ve tried. And I’ve failed. I can’t help it. I always fail. I can’t be right. I can’t do anything right. I’m just so stupid and worthless.”
“There’s no sense in denying what is true.” Annoyed by this turn in the conversation, Preyuna strode towards the door.
“Your Majesty!”
She glanced back at him.
He sat up with the pillow still in his arms. “Don’t leave me alone.”
“What’s the point in me staying in here? You don’t want me.”
“I don’t want to be alone. The monsters know I’m in here. If you leave me alone, they’ll attack me.”
“Isellta. There are no monsters.”
“There are. Horrible creatures with red eyes and sharp teeth and sharp claws. They grab my arms. They scratch me. They bite me.”
“They clearly don’t leave any marks.”
“It doesn’t matter if they do or don’t. It hurts me and…it scares me. The monsters scare me.” He shivered. “Don’t leave me alone with them.” He released the pillow and held out his arms to her. “Please.”
She scoffed. “I suppose you expect me to come running into your arms. No, Isellta. It’s all foolishness and nonsense.”
Isellta lowered his arms. His shoulders slumped.
“No. It’s worse than that.” She scowled. “It’s manipulation. I get enough of that from Caten. I will not be manipulated by you too.”
“I’m not trying to manipulate you. I’m not like that. I just…I don’t have any one else to turn to. You’re all I have.”
He’s begging for my protection.
Can I really turn that down?
She returned to the bed. “Isellta.”
He rubbed his face into the pillow and looked up at her.
“What do you expect me to do?”
He hesitated. “Just hold me.”
She thought it over and she could see the lines. Perfectly straight lines.
Yes. This makes sense.
She climbed into the bed and curled up next to him. His body felt a couple of degrees warmer than normal.
He shivered and reluctantly hugged her.
I’m doing this to protect him.
She wrapped her arms around him.
I have no reason to feel guilty.
And I don’t.