Isellta read the part about himself over and over again.
He’s worried about me.
He cares about me.
I guess I already knew that, but…
He read it over again and smiled.
It’s nice to see it actually written down in ink and on paper.
I wonder what else he has to say about me.
He turned to the next page.
I’ve never seen any fey like him before. So full of questions and curiosity. Almost want to say he’s part human, but I don’t think that’s the case.
I had to escort him to his room. I wasn’t supposed to say anything to him per usual protocol, but I couldn’t help myself.
It was a lot like when I met you. Do you remember? That day in the library? We got kicked out for talking too loud. I’d never laughed so hard in my life. Who would have guessed that a scrawny woman like her had so much power?
I think about you all the time.
I miss you.
I wish you weren’t in Cambodia.
I wish you were here.
I love you.
Isellta turned to the next page.
He had some more questions for me about love. I played “Perhaps Love” for him. Hahaha! You should have seen the look on his face. It was like daylight over the horizon. It’s like that song answered every question he ever had.
In other news, MarkCaten is still the worst person to work for. I know. Not news. And Preyuna is still creeping at Isellta. That’s the male fey’s name.
*shrugs* I don’t understand fey naming customs. Isellta sounds like a girl’s name to me.
I got your text message today. It made me smile, but oh! I wish you’d call. I want to hear your voice.
Please call me.
I miss you.
I think I know what the next entry will be about.
He closed the book and pushed it away.
I don’t want to read it.
Isellta picked up the photo album and put it back into the closet. He flopped onto the bed and studied the broken arm picture.
He looks so sad.
Isellta rubbed his thumb across Jay’s younger face.
He lowered the picture and stared at the journal.
Maybe he didn’t write about it.
Maybe he wrote about spring coming and how warm the air is becoming.
Isellta sat. He picked up the book and flipped through the pages.
Maybe he wrote out a list of complaints about…
He stopped at the last page he read.
He read it again all the way to the bottom.
His heart raced.
If he wrote about it, I can just close the book and put it away. I don’t have to read it.
Yes. No one can make me read about that.
He turned the page.
I want to kill Preyuna. I know it isn’t possible to kill a fey, especially a fey queen, but I want to kill her so much. She hurt him.
Isellta’s face flushed. His eyes involuntarily sped through the sentences.
I thought it was consensual.
I feel so bad for him.
He’s afraid to go into his own room and it’s her fault.
I feel like I let him down. I should have expected her to make that kind of move. I should have warned him.
I should have….
I wish you were here.
I need you here.
I need to fall apart in your arms.
The memories reared up with hungry jaws.
Isellta pressed his hands against his eyes.
But he could feel her touch on his skin, all over his wings.
He bristled out his feathers.
Stop touching me.
Leave me alone.
His face burned.
Please. I can’t. I can’t.
Tears rolled down his face.
His wings spasmed.
“I tried! I can’t.”
Someone entered the room.
He crumpled into a huddle in the hopes that whoever it was wouldn’t notice him.
I can’t try anymore.
A hand touched his back.
Isellta cried out in fear.
“Hey. It’s me. Jay. What happened? Look at me.”
He peeked up at the human and whimpered.
Jay sat on the bed next to him. “What happened? Are you hurt?”
He shook his head. “I’m…I’m sorry. I—” He looked at the book and his wings spasmed harder.
Jay followed his line of sight. Understanding saddened his face. “Oh, you poor kid. Come here.” He held out his arms.
Isellta crawled into them.
Jay hugged him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Isellta grabbed onto the back of Jay’s shirt and held on tight.