Ambrose wound up walking her to the police station, but he refused to go inside.
As soon as the police station door closed behind N1, Ambrose ran away as fast as he could.
All the way back to Kevin’s house.
He stopped at the front door.
I am so going to hate myself in the morning.
Ambrose took a deep breath, opened the door, and went inside. He ran up to Kevin’s bedroom, opened the door, and found he just couldn’t hold his breath any longer. It exploded out of him and the stench entered in.
I can do this.
He gagged the whole way over to Kevin’s side.
Kevin raised his head and squeaked plaintively.
Ambrose sat against the bed. “It’s all right.” He took Kevin’s hand and squeezed it. “I hate your scent. It sickens me. It literally sickens me. But I am here. You aren’t alone, Kevin.”
Kevin managed a weak smile and laid his head down.
“I’m here. I will undoubtedly vomit again. But I’m here.”
Three. Four. Five.
Two. Three. Four. Five.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five.
“Annnnnd….” Hildreth pulled out his Bossman 550 and shot the vampire charging at Elsie. “One.”
He smiled at Elsie. “Think that’s it?”
“Probably not.” She smiled. “By the way, I’m impressed.”
“Ha! Sing halleluiah, my brothers and sisters! I managed to impress Elsie Vansing. Can I hear an AAAAA-MEN?”
She laughed. “I mean it. I’ve never seen you so focused in a fight.”
“You can thank Master Shinowa and his patented Hildreth Mayhew tossing moves for that.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist. “That seems like such a long time ago.”
“I’m pretty sure it was three thousand years ago.”
Elsie released his waist to unzip his jacket and remove his Bossman 550. She pulled the jacket off and tossed it on the ground.
“Hmm. I don’t think my jacket’s supposed to go there.”
“Shut up, Hildreth. Kiss me.”
“Well. I guess if you’re gonna be all that insistent.” He kissed the tip of her nose.
She punched him in the stomach. “Not there. Idiot.”
“Oh? Well, then. Where? How about here?” He kissed her forehead. “No? How about…” He kissed her eyebrows. “There? Oh, you’re frowning. Too bad. I’m wrong again. And not your nose. Hmm. Maybe the sides of your face. Or maybe the whole line of your jaw.”
“Or maybe just right here.” She grabbed his hair and pulled him into a kiss.
His hands ascended into her hair. Scrunching in it. Twirling in it. Luxuriating in every frizzy strand.
“Ohhh, look at the two hunters playing kissyface. Mwa. Mwa. Mwa. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.”
Hildreth broke away from her and glared at the vampire. “Why don’t you go bug a gravestone?”
The vampire tossed her bleach-blonde hair over her shoulders. “As if someone as fabulous as me would hang out in a graveyard. I’m so fabulous I’m like rockstar status.”
Elsie glared at her. “Is there something you want or do you just have a death wish?”
“Well, duh. I want that hot man candy you’re smooshing.”
“Smooshing? What? Who’s smooshing who? I’m just KISSING him.”
Hildreth couldn’t help grinning. “Huh. Is smooshing anything like lovering?”
“Duh! It’s pretty much the same thing. So, hot man candy. You wanna come home with mama?”
“Oh, you just ruined it.” Hildreth held up his hands. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have mother lover fantasies. Sorry.”
“Huh? I was just being cute.”
Elsie pulled the two last stakes out of her gauntlet. “You failed.”
She shook her head. “Some people are just such old. Dead. Sticks. Stuck in the Bog of Eternal Stench.”
Elsie ran at her.
She screamed and ran.
I wonder if I should let the two womenfolk battle it out.
Elsie disappeared around the corner.
He picked up his Bossman 550 and ran after them.