Why didn’t I realize all of this stuff when the little twit was still here?
Why the heck now?
Raven gave him an uneasy glance. “Are you certain you’re—-”
“I’m fine. So, shut up and don’t ask me again or I’ll slam my shoe into your mouth.”
“Shoe. Very well, sir. If you’d rather not discuss it—-”
“And why would I wanna discuss it? Huh? Why?”
“I’d rather not speculate, sir.”
“And don’t you forget that.”
They walked through the bad side of town.
No one leapt out of the buildings at them, which disappointed Robin. He was so ready to smack people around.
“So, what’s your great plan?”
“You will take out the monitors and any hidden cameras that you can find.”
Robin cracked his knuckles. “Yes! Wanton destruction. What about you?”
“I will go to her. If anyone stands in my way, I will remove them.”
“Remove them.” Robin shook his head. “Don’t get all euphemistic. Just say it right: You’ll slaughter their slummy faces off!”
“I’d rather not say it like that, sir.”
“You should try it. It would make for a good laugh.”
“I’d rather not make a fool of myself.”
“Psh! You think she’s still in one piece?”
Raven swallowed hard. “I hope so.”
Robin faced forward.
Isellta. Let me see you tonight.
Let me see that you’re in one piece.
They reached the Funarium in record time.
Neither vampire wanted to listen to Mark Caten’s welcome spiel again. Once was far more than enough. So, they climbed over the fence.
Robin reached the top first and jumped straight down.
Onto a ice-slicked flat button that was hidden under the snow.
He slipped and fell onto his bottom.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! You tried to get around listening to my wondrous spiel of wonderfulness. Mooks. Lower hedge life. Looooosers!” He cleared his throat. “Welcome to…”
Raven jumped down and landed in a crouch. He stood and helped Robin up.
“…I would skip those other attractions. They are so not worth the trouble. I don’t even know who goes to them. Come to my fabulous Mark Caten heart-shaped maze. That at least is worth your while. Why? Because it’s shaped like my enormous heart.”
Robin dusted his bottom off. “I don’t think he’s gonna shut up.” He extended his claws. “Let me at that speaker. I’ll make him shut up.”
Raven smiled and patted the other vampire’s back. “Save it, sir, for the monitors and the cameras.”
“…No. Not enormous. Magnificent. Yes! My heart is magnificent and the maze here reflects….”
Robin snarled. “You sure I can’t just scratch the surface?”
“…It will inspire you pitiful pre-simians to greater things when you enter my heart…”
“It is tempting. But Missy is in that place waiting for me.”
“…Maybe one day you’ll rise from the primordial slime and accomplish great things. Not likely, but I’m not gonna shatter your paramecium dreams, you dear squishy swamp things you…”
Raven cleared his throat. “It is tempting.”
“Maybe on the way out?”
“…Thanks for forking all of your money my way. I love all of your money….”