Part 451 -A Squabble Amongst Vampires

Someone sneezed.

Body Slammer glanced over his shoulder and snarled. “Get out of here. This one’s mine.”

Sneezer tossed his long white-blonde hair over his shoulders before rubbing his nose. “That’s what you said last time. I earned this one.”

“I didn’t see you fighting with us.”

Five sneezes in a row. “I’m sick, okay?”

Body Slammer scoffed. “Like that’s even a legit excuse anymore.”

“I have a doctor’s note.”

“From sixty years ago.”

“It still holds.”

“Hey.” said Hildreth. “Not that I’m not having fun listening to you idiots squabble, but this is really uncomfortable. Could you get your—” He kicked the closest vampire. “—lackeys to let go of my hair and my arms and get the heck out of my way? I have things I want to do.”

Sneezer snapped to attention. “I smell hunter blood.” He shoved Body Slammer out of the way, who lost his balance and tumbled on down the stairs. “Where? Where?” He sniffed Hildreth intently.

Hildreth clenched his teeth.

“There.” He sniffed Hildreth’s arms. “Ohhh, there. Fresh hunter blood.” He turned to the side and sneezed far too many times for Hildreth’s personal comfort. He rubbed his nose.

Hildreth could see the snot trails on the side of the vampire’s hand. “Don’t you dare touch me or I’ll kick you into singing soprano.”

Body Slammer hustled back in a fury. “Back off from my hunter!”

Sneezer snarled. “I saw him first.”

“Since when does that even matter?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m hungrier because I had to fight him!”

“Tough.”

“Rrrrraaaaah!”

Hildreth sighed. “You know—” He tried to jerk his head out of the vampires’ grip. “—if you really want to settle this dispute, you could take me to your leader.”

“She’ll just tell us to settle it ourselves.”

Think. Think. Think. “In all honesty, I don’t think you nit brains are capable of settling this dispute.”

“He has a point.” said one of the vampires holding Hildreth’s arms. “Besides, I’m getting a finger cramp.”

“Who asked for your opinion?” snapped Body Slammer.

The vampire cringed as if he’d been slapped too hard. “Uhh, just saying.”

“Well, SHUT UP!”

The vampire cringed further with a small whine.

“I’m all for it.” said Sneezer.

“You would be.”

Sneezer shrugged.

Hildreth tried again to pull and wriggle and turn out of their grips. They dug their claws in deeper. “Ah. Uh uh uh. You two are so stupid. Stupider than an unsupervised three year old with an open aspirin bottle. Standing around whining at each other, wasting the night away instead of—” He groaned as the tips of the other vampires’ claws grazed his bones. “Take me to your leader. Now.”

Body Slammer smirked. “You’re in no position to—”

Hildreth kicked him hard. Right where it mattered.

Body Slammer dropped.

Sneezer looked down at his fallen comrade and silently rubbed his nose.

“Well?”

Sneezer raised his head. “You made a very convincing argument. Boys! Let’s take him to the Master of Havaton!”

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