It wasn’t a particularly large tract of land, but Caten had utilized as much of that space as he could. A large wooden scaffolding took center stage. Sea green tunnels twined around it – like a mammoth sized playground slide.
Warehouse-shaped buildings surrounded the scaffolding, boxing it hopelessly in. Mark Caten’s cartoonishly rendered face smiled cheese on the front of each building. Ambrose thought many happy thoughts about defacing each and every smiley Caten face.
Two buildings sat on opposite sides of the yak circle. Or rather, one building on the right side and something barricaded behind a brick wall on the left side.
Barbara pulled on her gloves. “So! Which one are we tackling first?”
“That brick barricade intrigues me, but I think we’ll save that for last. Let’s check out the loner over there.”
Barbara stuffed her gloved hands into her pockets. “Sounds good to me.”
“You okay?”
“Just cold.”
He wrapped his arm around her.
“Mm. Better.”
He kissed the side of her head.
***
They walked across the snow covered ground.
“It’s strange.” said Barbara.
“What?”
“This place is abandoned, right?”
“Yes.”
“But look around us.”
He did as she commanded.
“Look at the lights.”
A street lamp here and there were burnt out, but they were only one in a dozen.
“Why’s it so well lit?”
He frowned. “I don’t know. I’m sure it’s Mark Caten’s doing. Maybe this is his way of pretending that this place wasn’t a failure.”
“But you don’t think so.”
“I don’t know, Barbara. Something about this place feels wrong. I mean, besides the obvious light situation. I feel something. It’s just out of sight. Almost out of mind. But it’s there, trying to touch me, trying to speak to me.”
“Is it a ghost?”
He shook his head. “Whatever this is, it’s something alive.”
“Hunters?”
“No.”
They stopped at the building’s front door.
Mark Caten spoke up again.
“Why, hello my lovely paying public! You’ve found the gem of this whole place. The Mark Caten shaped chain linked fence maze.”
Ambrose groaned. “If he’s going to talk about that all over again—”
“Remember what I told you in the beginning. Come to my heart and—”
Ambrose tried to open the door, but there was no doorknob. “What the—”
“—you will like it there—”
Ambrose tried to pry the metal door open, but there wasn’t enough space to slip his claws into.
“—because I am wonderful. Many people say I am God-like. Hahhahahahaha! Such silly people. I am not God-like. No, I’m far too humble for that. Many more people call me God. Of course, they’re right.”
Ambrose snarled and bashed his fist on the door.
Barbara pulled her hand out of her pocket and put her arm around his waist.
He relaxed and managed to endure the rest of Mark Caten’s self-loving spiel.
“And that, dear stupid people is the end.”
The door swung open.
Ambrose and Barbara entered the building.
ambroseandelsie 
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As much as I loathe Caten, I am addicted to his egotistical speeches 😉 His whole godlike spiel was such fun to read and made me laugh out loud. You almost made my morning coffee come out my nose, lol….
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Thank you!
I had way too much fun writing his Funorium spiels. I imagined that he was given a script to say and he kept ad libbing his comments in. No one had the guts to tell him to try again and stick with the script. Or he just didn’t care when they told him that. So, they just went with whatever he said. 😀
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