Barbara curled up in her bed.
Her face burned. Her head hurt.
And she kept feeling his hands on her back.
I over-reacted. He didn’t even touch my skin. Just my pajama top. That’s all. But I couldn’t stay in there. I couldn’t. It would have been wrong.
But isn’t it wrong to leave someone like him alone? He can’t see. He could accidently hurt himself and it would be all my fault.
But it would have been wrong to stay. I know it.
But he can’t see.
But I can.
I could have stayed to help him and reassure him. I could have averted my eyes.
But the way he touched me…the way that made me feel…Things would have gone too far too fast.
But maybe he’s right. Maybe I should trust him more. Maybe he would have stopped himself before…
But no. I couldn’t have stayed in there.
But maybe I should have.
But I couldn’t. I honestly couldn’t.
“No.” She covered her face with her hands and cried helplessly.
I hurt her. I hurt her with my innate selfishness.
I should have known better.
I should have known that would make her uncomfortable.
I should have…
I should have…
But I didn’t.
Because I’m stupid about that sort of thing.
Because I’m selfish.
Because I’m not innocent like her.
Because I assumed she’s worldly like me.
But she isn’t.
He smacked the heel of his hand against his forehead. “Gaaah! How can I be that stupid?”
I need to talk to her. I need to make this right. I need to do it right now.
But I hurt her.
She won’t want to talk to me. And I can’t blame her.
He sighed. “I guess I’ll take my shower. That should give her enough time to cool down.”